You were always there when I need you to share my thoughts and feeling
You never failed to lend me your ears when I needed someone to listen to
You gave me ease to just show all the feelings I had inside
You would ask me questions after each stories I told, it just showed how much you cared
You never doubt in my strength and ability to face anything in this life
You never gave a chance for an empty and loneliness crept inside me hence you never ceased to call me each morning when I lived miles away from you
Just a "hello" hi or Salam and knowing I was okay was enough to make you happy and cheerful
I didn't understand at that time why you did it
All I knew that you missed me, and you couldn't wait the day I went home and visited you
I was in my own world
I was ignorant and practically blind
Blind on how much you have loved me
Blind on how much pain you went through to just let your youngest daughters live far apart from you when she was only 15 years old
Blind on how much sacrifice you did to send me to a good school so I can aim for the star and succeed in life
Blind on how deep on you're missing me
Blind on how hard you worked to support me financially, mentally and physically
You tried everything!
You sent me to English, physics, Quran, math and any private tuitions you thought was necessary
You would push me and boosted my confidence
You told me that I had to work harder day in day out
You sent me to three different asatid to teach me Quran, Qira'ah and Islamic speech... After fajr, after asr and after Maghrib
You managed to plant an extraordinary target I needed to achieve on each point of my study
And with your dedication, support and du'a, I did managed to get it
You would wake up early morning to collect fresh vegetables from local Farmer and market to be sold around the village
You opened beauty salon and taught me how to cut hair and blow dried when I was only 7 years old
You employed the neighbours to help you with your Krupuk business
You traveled to the city to secure a deal with contractor to sell roofs to them
You had your garment business and taught me how to attract customers and how to secure the deal
You nurtured my entrepreneurial instinct from such a young age
It inspired me to look any opportunity anywhere and anytime to start buying and selling until my university years.
You never let me down
You would be sad when I was sad
You would be extremely happy when I was happy
You couldn't wait to hear all the stories from my long shifts in the hospital
You were always there
There to calm me down
There to comfort me
There to push me to achieve my dreams
There to remind me that succeed come from closeness to Allah ﷻ and hardwork
But when all the dream you have been built I finally achieved
You were not there anymore
I couldn't see your proud teary eyes
I couldn't hear your voice congratulated me
I couldn't to kiss your hands as a thankful
gesture
I couldn't give you hug
I could not show the world how proud I am to have you as my MOM
A mom that despite being unable to complete her primary school education due to poverty and financial difficulties,
yet managed to give me confident and belief that I am capable to be a doctor and that's always been your dream
A mom who didn't know any words of English whatsoever and yet believe that I must be able to speak English and now I live in this English speaking countries
A mom who never felt ashamed to try any new business ventures as long as it could support her husband to send the children to a good school
A mom who lived simple but made her children felt having everything all the world could offer
A mom who never gave up on her dreams
A mom whose love is unconditional
A mom who was very strong and full of determination
Yes.... She was my mom!
Even though you're not physically next to me now
And I can no longer put my head into your lap
I can no longer feel your touch
I can no longer hear your voice
But you're always in my heart, my thoughts and my du'a
By can I just say something???
Mom...I am truly deeply missing you tonight as I hold my children tight!
Comments