Once Upon the time when we were in the car as I was driving back from Nusaybah's swimming class, my girl Nusaybah who is five years old asked me
Nusaybah:" mama, what is "a wife" mean?"
Me:"Errmmmm... A wife is a woman who is married to a man, for example mama, I am baba's wife" because I am married to baba
Nusaybah:"oooo...so do I have to get married when i grown up?"
Me:"I would think so, what do you think?"
Nusaybah:"I will get married, but what happen if there is no men left?"
Me:* laughing*" what do you mean?"
Nusaybah:" what happen if all the men are married?"
Me:" what make you think like that?"
Nusaybah:"because when I looked around, I saw all the men are married"
Me:"how do you know Nusaybah?"
Nusaybah:"they walk with women or they hold their children hands"
Me: "but look at that man!(there was a man walking on his own), he is not with a woman nor a child"
Nusaybah:"well his wife maybe at home, mama"
Me:"ermm, you're right, but trust me, there are many men not married yet, but you don't want to marry those men, they will be very old by the time you're grown up"
Nusaybah:"so who can I marry mama?"
Me:"anyone at your age or slightly older or a little bit younger... Those uncles will
Be 80 or 90 years old by the time you're twenty"
Nusaybah:" so I can only marry a man like my age mama?, like my friend?"
Me:" yes... Maybe" at this point I am slightly worried with the way i answered her qs.
Nusaybah:" so if a man is already married, can I marry him, mama?"
Ops!.... I truly don't know what to say and how to say it!
I can't say yes (even though is halal to be second third or fourth wife) but I don't want to plant that idea at such a young age
and I can't say no because that'll teach her something different from what Allah's ﷻ messenger has taught.
I just say:" I prefer you marry someone whose not married yet and don't worry about it now, it's still a looong way to go, you need to study, learn a lot and memorise Quran and when you're twenty we can talk about it.
Then she didn't respond apart from smiling
*phew...tough questions but again it made me learning new things*